the other mestizo boy, "o," finally kinda sorta asked me out. he writes:

"I've really enjoyed corresponding with you these last few weeks. You seem very smart and interesting and I want to ask if I can give you a call at some point? If you don't feel comfortable giving me your number, maybe we can meet up somewhere and hang out for a bit. Let me know what you think..."

well, shit. if he only knew about this blog. then, he'd know that i think it's about frickin' time! which should i do first? it's been over two weeks since we've been corresponding... so, i kind of feel like i should suggest hanging out over possibly entering into another two weeks of intermittent phone exchanges. he writes this "let's hang out or talk" suggestion at the end of his latest email, as if he were building up to it. now, i'm nervous. i'm more nervous than when i went out with mestizo #1... probably, because "o" sounds more interesting to me. but what if i meet him and i find out there's no chemistry? it was all electrical. we seemed to have e-chemistry versus actual chemistry.

i should go into all the random things that turned me off to guys. they're all pretty stupid, sometimes shallow, and oftentimes arbitrary. but, i think that's just the way love goes. i remember, i stopped liking a guy because he told me that he had a "moment" with his mother where they both heard soul asylum's "runaway train," and started crying together. a) that song was really annoying and lame. b) i thought, "what a sap. i can't date that!" and i wonder why i'm alone?

i need to think about what to do about "o." hmmmm...

i'm not feeling like having any profile up, right now. i'm not too keen on going out again with mestizo #1, and i keep getting messages from 25 year-olds on match, probably because they, too, are turned off by the majority of its members who reek of a mortgage, dog, and two kids. one 25 year-old just looked TOO DAMN PRETTY for me. he posted heroin chic, calvin klein-esque photos of himself. uh uh... i'm not dating any dude prettier than me, because i don't have the patience to wait for them to primp themselves in the morning. i tried perusing the profiles again and frankly, IT'S SLIM PICKIN'S! someone needs to hop onto the hood of my car. i'm getting off this train.

mestizo #1 calls me tonight. i got confused as to the number on my caller id. i thought it was a number of a friend of mine. it wasn't. it was him. i try to remain pleasant. he asks about when we should hang out again. i tell him i'm going on vacation. i really am, but i'm not going to be going out of town for two more weeks. i just make myself sound unavailable until the last week of june. who knows? hopefully, he'll find a new girlfriend by then and flake on me.

we talk. he tries to show how we have something in common, since i'm an educator:

"you know, one of the best things about my job is training people. but you know what... (this is where i had to try and brace myself for the onslaught of sheer boredom) you can teach someone any skill, but you can't teach integrity or a work ethic."

when trying to coax me to set up another date with him, he says:

"you know you're gonna have a good time."

me: huh? finishing up my work this week?"

"no. you and i hanging out."

yeah... sure... yeah. whatever you say. i loved it. it was much better than "cats." i'm going to see him again and again and again.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

the guy's a gemini/cancer cusp, but he reeks of uber virgo. i do like virgoes--don't get me wrong--but, i could never date them. my lack of skills in linearity and order would drive them up the wall. i told the guy that he sounded like a drill sergeant at boot camp.

he's leaving in three weeks to go to spain and run with the bulls. maybe, divine intervention will prevent me from having to squirm my way out of another date.

i always wondered why there is always the prevailing stereotype of the hysterical woman. freud propagated that, and it just keeps going and going. i find it "hysterical" when i read men's preferences on online dating sites. i've noticed that men often have a problem dating any woman more than two years older, but the 18 year olds that are 20 years their junior are fair game!! that, and so many dumbfuck men have unrealistic height-weight requirements for their dream dates. sometimes on nerve, i see men who prefer women who are 5'4" to 5'11" but 105-145 pounds?!!! they need to be on the streets looking for some single smack addict than on the web. stupid men, stupid... stupid. like i said before, maybe i should join gettoglam on the "women seeking women" search.

i'm getting bored with the men who have been contacting me, lately. i've given up on match, i don't know why i even keep my profile up. the men on that site are not my type and i'm not willing to drop some money to try and find them. on nerve, whenever my email mentions that i have a message from someone, i look up their profile first to even see if it's worth logging onto nerve to check the actual message. let's just say, i cut to the chase.

today, i get a message from some guy. i haven't read the message. i just needed to read:

in my bedroom, you'll find: two swimsuit calendars

all right. not only do i know i won't get along with some dipshit who gets titillated by looking at inaccessible beach bimbos in calendars, i also know that conversation won't be too thrilling with an idiot who needs TWO calendars to figure out what the fuck day it is.

update on the date with mestizo #1:

things i gleaned from conversation:

* he's a gemini/cancer cusp
* he used to be in a frat
* he wears pomade on a daily basis
* he showed up in a suit (i know, this isn't something you "glean" from anything. i just wanted to mention this fact).
* he's very disciplined with his life--he sounds like someone who'll make his bed everyday and pay his bills on time... actually, he even admitted that he does the latter.
* he has a good heart, but he's not my type

i'm confused, too, about his identity. his profile states that he's "caucasian--irish and asian." it turns out that he's 3/4 filipino, 1/4 irish. does he consider himself more white than anything?

things he said to me:

"you look younger than in your pictures."

when giving me his business card that had his personal address on it:

"you're not a stalker, are you?"

me: "uhhh... believe me. i'm not that diligent." yeah, especially because i'm not going to be waiting by the phone hoping you ask me out again!

he tried to walk me to my car, but instead i told him:

"oh, it's okay. i'm going to the market first. i need to buy some soy sauce. you don't have to come with me."

Does anyone have any suggestions of sexy music for a striptease????


My list so far:

Kevin Lyttle: Turn Me on (SOCA MADNESS!)

Rupee: Winner

Tupac: How do u want it?

Elephant Man: Jook Gal (SOCA REGGAE!)

Rakim: Stay a While

Faith Evans/Mos Def: Brown Sugar

I received the following email today(only an excerpt):


> when reading sexually explicit passages written by female authors. It's
> relatively hard for a man to obtain sex, whereas a woman can walk up to an
> man she wants (because he requires no special mood or circumstance) whenever
> she wants. So when a female author writes a sexually explicit passage, it's
> as if she says, "Ha ha, man, look at me, look at what I can do and you
> can't."

hmmm--as far as I know the guys I am friends with seem to be getting more action than I am.

Alternatively, all my close women friends love talking about sex--yet at the same time express some reservation and caution--unlike their male counterparts.

That's why this email puzzles me; everything in this mega patriarchy (otherwise known as planet earth) suggests to me that you can go any where IN THE WORLD as a man and have any sexual desire filled. Try doing that as a woman and see how far you can get.

I have just as strong a sexual drive as my partner (sometimes a little bit more)
yet, I feel that for him it's ok and actually sexy to talk about certain things regarding sexuality, whereas I always have to second guess myself when I bring up sex (not that I don't, hell I can talk about sex until the cows come home!!!!) I always wonder if I am going to be considered dirty, slutty or nasty.

Is sex easier for women to obtain than men? In our male dominated patriarchy?

NO.

Do some men feel threatened by a woman who can articulate her sexual needs and desires in elegant, lacy prose?

maybe.

or perhaps i should call this one "it's over. good morning to you too, part 2."

woke up to the following chillin' in my inbox:

Hello!

We had to make changes to your profile due to a Terms of Service violation.
Sorry, but contact information is not allowed anywhere in the profiles.

In the future, please follow our guidelines, and don't mention info such as:

- Email address
BTW- if you want to holla at me w/out payin', try me at "XXXXX" at a one of
the more common free email services (a "hot" popmail server)
- URL
- Instant messenger handle (MSN, AIM, ICQ, etc.)
- Blog
- Friendster info
- Phone number
- Postal address

* Constant violation/abuse of our policy will result in removal from our
service.


If you have any questions, you can review our terms of service at:
http://www.springstreetnetworks.com/tos/

Thanks!
Spring Street Networks Content Review
tos-violations@springstreetnetworks.com


well, thanks! to you, becky-sue for keeping the springstreet nework safe for all those horny daters, i'm sure my attempt at being a cheapskate was putting your entire empire at risk. you showed me. your power to change my profile does scare the hell out of me, the potential to get kicked off only only makes me laugh.

so, any other thoughts on free dating on-line schemes, ladies? maybe i just need to remove the words "free" and "popmail" and "server" from the contact hint i put out there... who knows how they found out? i mean, i can't imagine they were like "hey bob and becky, let's read through all the 26 year-old ladies looking for ladies accounts today and see if any of these hoochies are tryin' to get over on us."

but what do i know.

online no-no #1. lesson learned- you gotta pay to play.

so one of the mestizo boys called me today. we talked briefly and politely about ourselves. he expertly gives a run-down about who he is and how he grew up, went to school, goes to work. i do the same. he then tells me that he's been on nerve for a year now and has gone out with 20 different women. he talked casually about it as if it were some hobby like playing video games:

"you know, i think it's the best thing since sliced bread."

why do people say that? the dude is a year older than me. does he really remember the dark ages when there was no sliced bread? oh well, so he doesn't seem immediately to be too intellectually stimulating, (like "o." what the hell, man? when is the email dalliance gonna end?) but how the hell do i know?

he came off as being a professional online dater who claims to be so busy with work that he has to rely on such interfaces for meeting people. how the hell, then, does he have time to date 20 women in a year? my friends will tell you that i'm FUCKIN' busy myself, and i can barely muster enough time in year to date TWO men. anyway, he asked if i wanted to meet for coffee. i said, "sure." we're meeting at a coffee shop that i rarely go to. per my roommate's suggestion, it's best to go to places you don't frequent, in the event that you don't like the person and don't want to bump into them again. so it's on for tomorrow night. my first nerve date... i'll let you know how it goes. i just pray that i won't have the urge to hate him... now, how's that for low expectations?