you'd think for a blog that's listed in the blog search engine directory under the "dating blogs" category there would actually be more posts about the bloggers going out on actual dates. well... that's what i "thunk."

nerve.com ain't happening. granted, i do get messages from men to whom i don't respond, but i just wish someone i could be interested in would send me a message. that goes for the "analog" dating scene. i've come to the realization that i'm in no "scene"--on or offline. i don't even know someone who knows someone who is in the scene. there's no scene, no act I... no play, no nothing. was that redundant? no thing... how's that?

"it's not my time." i say this to myself. my friends say this to me. i think if i chant it enough, i'll really start to believe it. this is the longest time i've been single since high school. that's pretty significant. there must be something in the universe that i'm supposed to learn about right now. i wonder what it is.

don't get me wrong. i'm hardly the type to sit and mope on a friday night about how i'm dateless and desperate. i'm too oddly amused by strange obsessive things to really go there. actually, i think it's a bit exciting to be a free radical. (yes, this was a gratuitous plug for my other blog.) i'm opening myself up to the universe and asking, "who's going to land on the hood of my car?"

today i got a big scare (well... no, i wasn't held up at gunpoint). i was logged into nerve.com when a window popped up. someone was trying to "instant chat" me. it was this 44 year-old white guy (obviously oblivious to my "27-36" age range preference). one of his photos was of him lying on his back on his bed in his boxer briefs. come on! plus, he was also one of those men who want to date everyone but black women.

anyway, he kept typing and i kept ignoring his IM. he wrote:

"are you trying to be sneaky and play on this at work, too? lol"
"you're very pretty."

i was frozen in fear (i know... it's not like i was on camera, but STILL! eew!!") i decided i would try and pretend i had a browser malfunction, so i just quickly logged out. i'm telling you. having your online status known whenever you log on to nerve can be tricky. why couldn't it be someone i'd WANT to chat with sending me messages? jeez.

and yes... with all these online dating neuroticisms detailed here... i am still dateless.