6.17.2004
going undercover
i pulled down my profile down from nerve. i figured, if i stayed on any longer, i'd only get more messages from freaks looking for milfs and muffs or, i'd get recognized from people i work with or know casually.
from now on... i'm incognito.
from now on... i'm incognito.
6.15.2004
the freaks come out at night
i'm nearing the time that i need to remove my nerve profile from the land we call "cyberspace." last night, around 2am, i get a notice from a "milf aficionado." it turns out he's winking at me. i check out his disconcerting profile. perhaps i sound like some sheltered suburban debutante, but this guy was a FREAK!
he's 29, from palm springs. his relationship status? "discreet." that's right. he's a cheating heart. being naive and oh-so innocent, i didn't even know what a "milf" was. i had to do some internet research. the result? tons of porn sites and the definition that "milf" is an "old porn industry" term for "mothers i like to f***." the characteristic traits of a milf are: ample plastic surgery, taught thighs, and i guess that suburban mom sex appeal. WTF?
why was this guy winking at me? i check out the rest of his profile:
the five items i can't live without: wind, sand, stars... milfs (apparently, he can't add, but then again, maybe he needs TWO milfs)
fill in the blanks: milfy is sexy; milfier is sexier
in my bedroom, you'll find: a bedroom like any other; a lover unlike any other
why you should get to know me: i'm witty, urbane, literate... and i revel in muff-diving (does he read while he's diving?)
more about what i am looking for: within the milf universe, i strongly prefer cosmopolitan (note the lower-case c) women
what the hell does being literate have to do with muff-diving? hey, ladies. at least the guy is "educated." he's a "post grad!" (whatever). i'm just offended... i ain't no milf!!!
he's 29, from palm springs. his relationship status? "discreet." that's right. he's a cheating heart. being naive and oh-so innocent, i didn't even know what a "milf" was. i had to do some internet research. the result? tons of porn sites and the definition that "milf" is an "old porn industry" term for "mothers i like to f***." the characteristic traits of a milf are: ample plastic surgery, taught thighs, and i guess that suburban mom sex appeal. WTF?
why was this guy winking at me? i check out the rest of his profile:
the five items i can't live without: wind, sand, stars... milfs (apparently, he can't add, but then again, maybe he needs TWO milfs)
fill in the blanks: milfy is sexy; milfier is sexier
in my bedroom, you'll find: a bedroom like any other; a lover unlike any other
why you should get to know me: i'm witty, urbane, literate... and i revel in muff-diving (does he read while he's diving?)
more about what i am looking for: within the milf universe, i strongly prefer cosmopolitan (note the lower-case c) women
what the hell does being literate have to do with muff-diving? hey, ladies. at least the guy is "educated." he's a "post grad!" (whatever). i'm just offended... i ain't no milf!!!
