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8.04.2004


post script to blocking the "man" 

just in case our readers may think i was being a bit too judgemental about the anti-hip hop guy from yesterday, i wanted to explain a bit more the impetous for blocking him. in his message to me, he put in the subject, "i'll be your huckleberry." the only image i had was of me being the runaway slave on the mississippi river with his white self as my "partner-in-crime." for me, that's not exactly a pleasant vision for me to imagine if i were to date a white guy. interracial relationships can be really tricky. the few times i have ever dated a white guy, i always had the issue of their whiteness being my "foot in the door" to areas of privilege not always accessible to people of color. for me, that doesn't fly. (this is when you hear destiny's child "independent woman" burst out of the silence). my sense of justice isn't based on me gaining privilege by way of the bridge called his back. (now, this is where you see me at the national convention of women of color giving "high fives" and hoots and hollers). yeah, yeah, yeah... there is that thing called "love" that may happen and exist between white guys and their women of color partners, but i just want to put it out there: it ain't that easy, and in many ways, it can be that much harder...


What would you do?  

Let's say you've been seeing someone for about four months. You haven't seen each other in about six weeks since both of you are traveling. You both happen to have one night where you will be in the same city; your partner is flying into the airport at 8:34 PM local time. You want to see this person, so you agree to pick them up at the airport. Your partner is flying in with their sister and friend, all who have worked on an intense technology project involving multiple pieces of equipment. You live in the opposite direction of your partner, but you want to pick them up at the airport and take them back to your place. However, the question remains, what about your partner's sister, friend and all that equipment??

1.) Pick up your partner, sister, friend and all the equipment, and make a detour to drop your partner's sister and friend at their place--understanding it's late at night and not particularly safe to be wandering around in a big city with expensive equipment. You also understand that your partner's sister's well being is as important to you as your own sister's well being. What can you say? you're THAT kind of person!

2.) Pick up your partner, and let your partner's sister and friend take a shuttle back home. It's late, your partner's sister's place is too far a detour to take at that hour, and you want to take advantage to spend time with your partner. It has been six... long... weeks.

What would you do?

8.03.2004


i'm the one that i want! 

yeah... this entry is supposed to be my post-oprah transformational declaration of "i'm my own best friend!" i don't need someone to "complete me" blah, blah, blah. how empowering in a very white woman, lifetime channel way. yick. pass me the sweet and low.

i was going through my nerve.com messages and i found a message from this white guy who writes in his profile:

I think the whole expression "Men are dogs" got twisted around by idiot rap artists.

yeah, what rap artist? men were compared to dogs pre-hip hop revolution, so get it straight, white boy! he probably thinks that the shit that gets play on the radio and MTV/BET is real hip hop. whatever... i'm always suspicious of white people who are so readily dismissive of hip hop culture. particularly, because i question what "hip hop" they're listening to. is it a "white man threatened by black man" thing? this is shit that makes me never want to date a white guy. especially since i would be the one they'd have to fear the most about a person wanting to challenge and uproot white privilege--not the long line of bitter brown men in my family. "yeah, i want your seat on the bus, sucker!" i'm sure it has him knocking in his boots... or loafers. fortunately, nerve.com has this handy function... i BLOCKED his ass. now, he can't send me any more messages.

then, there's this other white guy who has repeatedly "winked" at me for the past 3 months. i have never responded to him because i clearly stated in my profile, "i prefer words over winking." apparently, he's missed that repeatedly when viewing my profile. that, and in specifying what ethnicities he prefers to date, he put everyone but african american. what's with that? he's open to dating everyone but black women? he can have his fill of asian and latin fetish, but black women--no? whatever. i blocked his ass, too.

that's right... i mean business and i don't need oprah, dr. phil or lifetime to serve as my compass. block on!!!