update on the not-quite lover boy who invited me to see krs-one tonight

so, when i got the message on thursday inviting me--even though he admitted it was "super, super forward"--to see krs-one and immortal technique for saturday night, i thought, "maybe..." the problem was that i don't have a paid subscription to match.com. being the case, i couldn't write back to him to say, "hell yeah!" well, i found out that i could sign up for a free 3-day trial. the caveat being, that i'd have to give up my credit card info and make sure to cancel before the three days were over. well, i do it. i sign up. i send him an email saying that i was interested in the show, but would like to know a little bit more about him before hand (you know, feel out if he had any psycho-killer tendencies) and "here, email me back at (insert real email address)." i wait... nothing. friday comes, friday goes. since these free trial things always screw me over, i decide to cancel the trial last night to avoid being charged.

what happens?

foolio writes me this morning saying that his account says i sent him an email, but he was unable to receive it. "could you send it, again? i'm sorry. i just thought you hadn't responded." so great! i can't write him back now! dammit! fuckhead wasn't keen enough to also realize that not everyone is a paid member. he could've given me another email address. whatever...

great. match sucks. you can at least reply to people who wink or write you on nerve.

"good morning! i just saw your recent pics online -- Girl, you are tomboyishly hot! BUT, i'm looking for a femme, and you and i look we share a masculine style. :) so, i'm going to pass on tomorrow. good luck with the show! i'm sure it'll be great! (keep me posted on your events, maybe we could be friends) Ü"

i wake up to the above in my inbox.

my only response to her-- no, we probably can't be friends if you have such polarized visions of relationships/ individuals in relationship. some pics on-line made you think that there was only the slight possibility that we could be friends- "maybe?" well, hhhmmmffffhhh! i don't think so. it's not like i was inviting you to our wedding.

masculine energy? clearly she doesn't know me... tomboy maybe. stylish shoes, boxer shorts and hats, yes. lipstick and dresses, no. but masculine?

so the quick start became as quickly the end.

homo-no!no! #1. lesson learned: assume nothing.

it's official. i'd like to welcome gettoglam to the hunting and gathering crew of sex? in THIS city? of course, i'm the only one with a blogger profile up (see "about" on the right-hand side). obviously, there must be a direct correlation between who has a profile and who's getting--or, in my case--not getting any action.

it's also official: i'm a loser... losah!

Here is a piece of a Soca song from RUPEE
I was thinking about it last night and today.
This goes out to everyone who's been treated like shit by their special someone.

"WINNER"

You gotta give a woman (man, other) what she wants,
You gotta give a woman (man, other) what she needs
You gotta let your woman (man, other) know how much you love her

you gotta make your woman (man, other) feel wanted
And never take her for granted
Before you know it homeboy(or girl) you just may lose her

She's hot
so many others want to take your spot
you better realize what you got.
here's a reminder it seems you forgot

SHE ** IS ** A ** WINNER
you ** might ** just ** lose ** her

there's nothing in the world she would not do
and everything little thing she does for you

But still you refuse to show her RESPECT
before you wake up and open her eyes
It's only then that you realize
she's in the arms of another man (or woman) like R*U*P*E*E*

so, someone here deserves a hand... last night i was prompted, practically handed the things to write and do along with nicely shaded photo of myself to join nerve.com. this moring i wake up to a "hotlist MATCH." 1/2 an hour later i've got a date for sunday.

way to go team.

don't know how much more i have to write, i mean, i wasn't expecting all this. i did say that if "the one" didn't write within a week i was going to pull down my profile. hhhmmmmfffffffhhhh!

---o

HA! so, i was re-checking the profile on match.com of mr. sensitive to see what was his astrological sign (i know... cheesy. i was just wondering if he were an overly sensitive scorpio... maybe he's a sagittarian). originally, he had up on his profile that he was looking to date someone between "21-26" years old. yes... meaning, why did he message me if i'm too old maid for him? anyway, i check it this morning and LO AND BEHOLD! he changes the age range to "21-28." that's right, loveorbust readers... i changed his ways. i bet he's a sagittarius.

on nerve, i've been getting all these half-irish, half-filipino guys. what's up with that? one of them, "o," has been incessantly emailing me for the past week, but WON'T ASK ME OUT. meanwhile, this punk guy--works for a large pharmaceutical company by day, dives in the mosh pit at punk shows at night--has already asked me out to coffee after two emails. as he says on his profile, "this ain't penpal.com."

i acquiesce. i'll meet the guy for coffee. he lives in the next LA version of the burrough to me. i might as well. i'll be open for the adventure called, my so-called cyber life. i'll keep you posted.

fyi, i emailed back mr. sensitive who found my lack of email response vomitous. i made him feel guilty since i said i was extremely busy working with "my students" for their show. yeah, that's right. it's called an alibi. eat it.

I know two situations where my friend and I have faced non responsive exes.

My case is the following:
I went out with this guy last summer. Was really into him until I realized that I fell for a fantasy, an ideal and not a real person. I didn't tell him this when I broke up with him; I told him I just needed time to sift through my own personal drama. Months down the line after much prodding from friends I called him up and did the "closure call." Come to find out that he was really hurt that I hadn't emailed, called or kept in touch with him. I was confused--should I have kept in touch with him or given him space?

That was me being insensitive. Since then I have made an effort to keep in touch with him; however it's been really hard; I feel like it's one sided; I always take the initiative to IM him or call him.

My friend's case is not that easy.

She also had been seeing someone over the summer; however, they ended on bitter terms; more bitterness came from him than her. They agreed to be friends; however, the communication has been one sided. it's been mainly my friend who has been keeping the lines of communication open, while he remains aloof and distant.

I think about my friend and her ex and I could see that this could easily happen with the guy I'm seeing right now. We both have a lot of pride, and he had already mentioned how he never calls one of his exes. he only talks to her when she calls him. I would make an effort to keep in touch with him; I'm not sure he would return the favor, though.


Why, oh why are guys so cryptic?
Thoughts?

i think the world of online dating is very flaky. i, for one, know that i can drop electronic correspondence very easily. i think it's because there's that lack of accountability that you have when corresponding with a complete stranger. so today, is the first time that someone actually commented on the whole finicky nature of online dating. i get this message:

subject: that was a short-lived friendship

I'm assuming you got my second e-mail. take care, (insert my real name).

"I ate infinity in my attempts to live forever, but ended up regurgitating because it was not yet my time."

ouch! he even took a jab at my username. regurgitating? he last emailed me a week ago. then, memorial weekend happened--i was busy! i was going to write him back... now, i don't know if i should. the guy is four years younger than me, too. he seems smart and mature (he's a chomsky reader... yeah, that doesn't mean that much, but it's impressive for a 24-year old), but i don't know if i could date someone that much younger. i'm no demi moore.

meanwhile, some other guy from match winks at me. because i don't have a paid account, i figured, "what the hell. i'll wink back, maybe he'll be smart enough to give me his email." as a result, i get, "i know this is super, super forward, but do you want to go with me to see krs-one and immortal technique at the el rey?" he sold it like a used car, "if you like black star, you'll love immortal technique."

my self-preservation side says, "you crazy? do you even know this guy?" the other wild child says, "shit. a free show?"

hmmm... decisions. decisions.

my nerve profile specifically--though politely--states:

please NOTE: asian fetishists need not apply. my AF detector is highly sensitive. thanks.

why then, do i get a message from a WHITE, earth-crunchy hippie guy whose religion is "hindu tantric yogi" and whose favorite on-screen sex scene is, "In Kama Sutra, between the artist and the courtesan?" i thought i was in santa cruz, for a moment. his profile gets even better:

if i could be anywhere, at the moment: mt. kailash, tibet

song or album that puts me in the mood: colors, donovan (the ultimate, beatles-contemporary culture vulture. i still love his tunes, though.)

the five items i can't live without: mantra beads, snowboard, chefs knife, granola (can you believe this? no SHIT!), yoga mat

i should be on the floor, rolling with laughter right about now, but i have to type this damn thing up. unbelievable.

his message is even, EVEN better!

You seem like my kind of person. I'm a very mystic, astral plane type guy, really. You have nice energy, but I bet you move very fast, humming bird like. What is your favorite sweet snack?

So I have another confession:

I think I might have an obsession with sex.
Not that it's all I think about, but it's something that I cannot stop talking about with people, dissecting, analyzing, sharing, reading.

It's fascinating to see what happens to the human body during "The Act"--body temperatures rise, your skin is more sensitive, all of a sudden something inside you takes over, and you know exactly what to do.

Just remember: stay hydrated!