i just got done reading another list of men who "winked" at me again on match.com. some single, recently-divorced 42-year old white man from from santa monica wrote me a message with the subject field, "No Way!" at first, i was nervous. i thought it was going to be a message of wrath for someone "offended" that i dare request men who were "down brown or darker" on my profile. instead, i get:

You don't exist...some guy is playing a trick on me...UR the woman of my dreams.

gimme a fuckin' break! i should put on my profile, "my olfactory nerves are highly attuned to sniffing out asian fetishists. please don't send me cliche drivel that i'm your 'dream' thing just because you saw 'the last samurai' and thought all us 'oriental' chicks melt upon hearing how we make your dream comes true." i'm getting really sick of the online dating thing. it's slim pickin's. at times, it's revolting.

what's my alternative? somehow, an issue of "oprah" made it past my front door and i read some article that said, "if you spend your days waking up, going to work, going home from work, going to bed and doing it all over again, some guy would have to practically throw themselves upon your car hood in order for them to get to know you." maybe, i should invite mr. santa monica man to ride my golf as i go 65.