i got a message on match.com from some guy. i thought i had hidden my profile! instead, i find out that there's a distinction between your "dating" profile and your "friends" profile. people looking for "friends" still saw my profile, since i hadn't taken it down.

so, now i took that profile down. match.com gives me the creeps. it's the smell of a mortgage, two kids, a dog and an SUV in the driveway that scares me away.

watch, when i turn 34 and if i'm still single, i'll be all over that shit. then, i'll be back on match.com in full force! just give me five years. we'll see. actually, let's not. i think i'd rather close my eyes if that happens.