i'm back on nerve. i just got back from camping and training in arizona for a week. i figured i could go for the cheap entertainment of reading responses to my profile (this is the optimist in me) while on the road this month for work. that, and i came up with new responses to the nerve questionnaire. so really, this whole online dating thing is just an opportunity to test out new material on my cyber audiences.

i recently attended a 4th of july party hosted by an ex of mine. i recognized one of his friends from a nerve profile i had seen. i hope he didn't recognize me. i remember walking past him to the beverage table and taking notice of him eyeing me. i hope he was just appreciating my bucket hat and not thinking, "hey! did i see her on nerve.com?"

why would i have a big hang-up about that anyway? i guess i still attribute the feeling of desperation to the idea of posting an online personal ad. in online dating, it's pure self-marketing--not of your ideas, your personally-made products or wares--but yourSELF. i'm pimping myself. i'm my own john. i'm a prostitute of love. i'm absolutely ridiculous, right now.